Friday, December 24, 2010

Demons of Childhood

The demons of childhood are evil beings that latch on to us when we are young and tender. Like deer ticks, they attach themselves to the skin of a child’s unbroken spirit and burrow in, sucking his or her energy and potential and spitting out a poison that only reveals itself over time. I’ve been able to banish Lyme Disease, so why is it so hard to cast out the demons of childhood?

I know I’m not the only one who struggles with this. Every time a spouse reacts irrationally to some request or a colleague hits the roof over nothing, you know that the demons of childhood are at work. Demons with names like Doubt and Fear, Insecurity, Unworthiness, and Loneliness, a real nasty bunch of fiends and trolls that follow us doggedly through the confidence of youth only to confront us again and again, in our 30s, 40s, and 50s.

At which point, I daresay, we face them down or die in their embrace.

I'm witnessing the last stand of those demons in my life. I’m confident of victory now, but it’s been a gory battle through the years and my body took quite a beating. I’m working real hard to recover my physical wellness and strength, and I’ll gladly take whatever I can manage to accomplish . . . but in no way does my spiritual victory rely on my physical health. This body is just a womb for my soul, and my soul will be born someday into the arms of my Charlie. The fruit will ripen and the empty shell tossed away on the wind.

Those fucking demons! They still stand in my way some days, blocking the road like a gang of bullies. They compass me about like bees; they are quenched like a fire in the thorns.